How to Manage Life

When You’re Drowning

Many hardships come with being an adult. Learning how to manage life means that we must take into account the responsibilities of adulthood and its pressures. Many of us experience the weight of self-responsibility along with the pressure of being responsible for others. Now that we are out in the world on our own we must pay our bills, keep ourselves, maintain our homes, and build careers. What happens when tragedy strikes or when you have another responsibility added? Can we retreat and recover for a month? Do we take time to heal and re-enter life with a clear strategy? Oftentimes, many of us don’t have that luxury. So, we continue to push forward.

but sometimes it becomes too much as we find ourselves drowning.

We aren’t drowning because we are immature, and we didn’t know how to swim in the first place. We are drowning because a huge wave of life just hit unexpectedly or the tide crept up slowly pulling us further away from safety unbeknownst. We all have the potential to find ourselves in a situation like this. Whether you are in it now or you feel that life is amazing, this article is for you. Even if there is just one area in your life that you can’t seem to swim in, this article is for you. No matter if you are drowning at work, with money, in relationships, or at home with family and chores there are a few steps you can take to get back to the surface. Storms may come but as my mom would often share, “the sun will rise tomorrow”. 

How to Manage life – When you are drowning

Keep your head

The number one safety tip given when anyone has found themselves in a potentially dangerous situation is to stay calm. For example, if you are experiencing financial difficulty you might be tempted to try any and everything to earn some extra cash to pay your bills, particularly if your situation is dire. That is when you make mistakes. While anxiety may be high, try to calm yourself so you don’t make decisions that can worsen your situation. My mom would also often say, “haste makes waste.” No matter what it is, stay calm.

Identify the problem (whatever is causing you to drown)

Now that you have calmed yourself, identify the problem. Assess your life and the situation around you and name the problem. Naming the problem takes away its allusiveness and contextualizes its power. That way, you can begin to understand and dissect the problem into smaller, more palatable pieces. Next, you should engage in the “5 whys” activity. Ask yourself why this problem occurred and after each answer, ask why again 4 more times. This will help you uncover the root of the problem. For more on the 5 Whys check out the article from _ here.

Identify the gap (Competence or Commitment)

You have identified the problem. For the parts of the problem that are within your control, you can begin to evaluate them. Decide if that which is your control is an issue of commitment or competency. You may not know how to properly manage your money and so each month you find yourself needing to borrow, that is a competency issue. That means there is a skill deficit you need to correct to not overspend. Whereas, you may know how to manage your workload, but you’d rather hang out with your friends. That is a commitment gap. You know what to do, you just lack the motivation to get it done.

Enlist help

There is so much helpful free content on the internet that can provide you with resources to close a commitment or competency gap. If you need to learn how to deal with hardships at work, or do you need a quick recipe for tomato soup? YouTube, Blogger, and now AI. While some advice-givers may not be professional counselors or coaches, you can find some excellent advice and ideas in just about any situation. Outside of what you find online, talk to loved ones who can advise you well or find mentorship to help you overcome the hurdle.

Change 1-2 small things

Don’t fall into the trap of trying to address every problem in your life at once. Decide what problems are in your control. Focus your attention on one area and win there. For example, if you find that your lifestyle is deteriorating because of your poor eating habits and lack of exercise, maybe you simply decided to cut out soda pop from your diet consistently. It is critical to experience success in overcoming these challenges because it is what will give you the momentum to keep achieving. Making more than 2 changes decreases the odds that you will stick with any at all. Make small changes to create a ripple effect of lasting impact.

Reflect

Build a reflection practice. Reflection is how we concretize our learning. These experiences are valuable intel. Don’t cast them into the abyss of undocumented history. If you have not, I recommend you keep a journal particularly as you are in the process of unburdening yourself. Not only will this solidify your learning. You may also find yourself gaining clarity and even more momentum to overcome other challenges through reflection. Learning how to manage life is iterative and collecting this information will help you in time to come.

Product Highlight!

I have long been an avid journaler. I have collected many journals in the past and have heaps of written-in books of various colors and sizes. It’s quite the scene to organize. Now, I have two journal covers and I purchase inserts as needed to keep the place organized and slightly. 

My sister bought me this one! I was given this one as a gift! (Commissions Earned)

Years later I still use them both! I love these journals and the style is so rustic! <3

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